Ahh… you’ve made it to the awkwardness of the ‘About Me’ page.
This is where I’m supposed to share my accomplishments.
It’s the section of the website where I’m supposed to prove that I’m credible.
That I’m experienced. That I’m…*gasp* professional.
Tradition says that I should be sharing with you juicy (edit: boring), tidbits about my successful boutique communications agency, or divulging the insane, jaw-dropping results I’ve achieved for numerous clients over the years.
But screw that.
Instead, I want you to read a tiny piece of my heart.
Here’s what I know for sure.
I’m highly motivated by fun. Don’t threaten me with a good time, because I WILL HAVE IT.
Language is art and I get off on creative writing. Words are my weapons, and my heart beats a little faster when I kick readers in the throat. Metaphorically of course.
I daydream about becoming a professional poker player in Vegas, staring down my opponents during a tense hand. In my daydream, I don’t wear sunglasses at the poker table – instead, I burn a hole through the other players' souls with my big brown eyes, because I’m a card-slayer, and they are my mortal enemies, destined to become dust.
If you hate me, take me to a seafood restaurant.
If you love me, take me to an Italian restaurant.
Choosing my favourite book is like asking a parent to choose a favourite child. We all have one, but we’re never going to tell.
I can 100% confirm this saying is true: if you have the choice to disappoint others, or disappoint yourself, choose disappointing others EVERY SINGLE TIME.
Supreme joy for me is being with my daughter. She's the brightest ray of sunshine I've ever known.
My husband has been shattering stereotypes since 1979.
I continue to watch reruns of Buffy the Vampire Slayer. The greatest show in the history of EVER, led by the most gracious goddess of all time, Sarah Michelle Gellar.
I’m the most extroverted, introverted person you’ll ever meet.
When I board a plane, my knees are weak, arms are heavy, there’s vomit on my sweater, Mum’s spaghetti, I’m nervous.
My biggest fear in life is not realising my full potential. I have poisonous thoughts that I could have done better.
Running a close second is spiders.
I know you’re dying to know who my favourite housewife is… it’s Kyle.
And you?
Well, I hope I get to meet you one day. I can already tell you are cool.
There’s only one thing left to do…
Subscribe to my scrappy corner of the internet and let’s do this!
Want to work together?
I’m not just talking smack, I really do own a communications agency.
Find out below on how you can work with the greatest team on the planet (and me of course).