I Scored A Book Publishing Deal And Turned It Down. Here’s Why.

I’ve been known to make questionable choices.

Everything from my taste in music to men* has been questioned.

And one of my latest decisions is a doozy.

Some might say stupid, some might say brave, but either way it’s a doozy.

They say you should trust you gut.

That you should listen to that ‘inner knowing’, that feeling you get when something is off.

And, often, we try to quieten down that ‘spider sense’… especially if it’s going to take something away from you that you really, really want.

Just before the world turned to absolute shit in 2020, I submitted a manuscript for a children’s book to several publishers.

It’s always been a dream of mine to write a children’s book. I adore storytelling, and I especially love stories aimed at the littlest members of society.

I know what you’re thinking.

How did this swear-y, booze-hound write a KIDS book?

Once I had my daughter, my desire to write this book grew infinitely, and I had this deep pull to write a story for Poppy.

I wrote a 30 page manuscript and then Googled a bunch publishers, and found an email address for submissions.

I had no literary agent, no contacts, and no idea.

So imagine my surprise and utter disbelief when I received an email from a publisher saying they loved my manuscript, and wanted to publish my book!

Celebrations ensued – mostly in the form a hug from the husband and phone call to my Mum. (I party hard guys).

After the initial “yay” email, contract negotiations began, and this is where my primal instinct went into overdrive.

If you’ve ever read a contract for ANYTHING, you’ll know they are full of legal jargon that everyday people like you and me cannot possibly decipher… and quite often you miss the part where it states that they own your soul.

So while the publisher didn’t want to own my soul, they did offer me a deal that I just didn’t think was… fair.

So what was the ultimate reason why I decided to rip up the publishing contract?

Gut feeling.

Literally, that’s it.

It just didn’t feel right.

It was like I’d eaten three day old Chinese food.

Without going into too many details (as I’m hopeful that one day I will land a publishing deal #manifest), this leads me to the entire point of this blog post.

TRUST YOUR GUT.

If I could triple underline that statement I would.

If your primal instinct is to run, then heed the warning.

One of the hardest things I had to do was to write to the publisher and decline their offer.

It’s like everything I wanted was just within reach, and then it was taken away from me at the last second.

And it was by my own hand!

But if I know one thing, I know this:

My subconscious brain is way smarter than my conscious brain.

While it was hella disappointing and soul crushing, I knew it was the right thing to do.

Maybe you’re at the same crossroads now.

Maybe you’re not entirely sure you want to work with that client, or maybe you’re second guessing a job offer.

We so often talk so negatively to ourselves – questioning whether we are good enough for people – when really, we should be asking if they are good enough for us.

Trust your primal instinct.

It never has an agenda.