An Open Letter To Misogynists This International Women’s Day

Today is a really special and important day.

March 8 is my daughter's birthday, and it's also International Women's Day.

Giving birth is a powerful feeling. And that feeling is only heightened on a day that has such significance.

Women are humanity's life force. If women everywhere decided to stop pro-creating tomorrow, humanity would cease to exist.

What is more powerful than that, right?

So why the heck are there still arguments about a women’s right to equality?

While we have come a long way, there is a long way to go.

We're ascending, it's true.

But not fast enough.

Why?

Sure, we are no longer standing at the bottom of the mountain, but our necks are breaking from looking up to the peak.

You only need to glimpse at the news headlines from the last few weeks to see that society as a whole is still predominately catered for males.

Our very way of life is male dominated, and male influenced.

It always has been.

I appreciate that change – real change – must be done slowly, and over time.

But it’s fucking time.

I’d like to share with you a story from my very first job, fresh out of uni, and my introduction to my career.

I should warn you, this might be triggering for some people, as it contains mentions of sexual harassment, and some of the most gross misogynistic behaviour I’ve ever been subjected to.

I landed my dream job as a radio producer straight out of university. I was responsible with dealing with record labels, setting up interviews with celebrity guests, managing the sponsorship of the show and ensuring all content that went to air was quality. What a dream, right!

I had two male bosses, both who were very well respected within the company and media industry as a whole.

My direct boss though… well, he was my first introduction to what it meant to have a real boss.

This man was a larrikin, but was feared around the station.

He would wear a bullet around his neck – seriously.

A real bullet.

“You’re lucky he likes you”, some of the women used to say to me.

They’d ask me, “How do handle having HIM as a boss?”

At first, I never really knew how to answer that question.

I’d make excuses for his sexist remarks.

I’m embarrassed to admit that to this day.

But I felt like I had too.

I worked so hard to land this job, that I didn’t want to do anything to sabotage it – even if it meant being subjected to horrific treatment.

We had HR, but it was common knowledge that if you went to HR about the kingpins, you can kiss goodbye your career.

You’d be ‘phased out’, because you were a ‘problem’.

Like they were the fucking mafia or something.

Each year, I’d ask for a pay rise – and each year I’d be denied.

“Think of the perks you get Kat!” he’ d say.

He conditioned me into thinking I was lucky to have THEM.

Just be grateful, Kat.

There are so many other young women who would do ANYTHING to have your job.

This is the bullshit I would tell myself.

I stayed for five years. FIVE years.

Over that time, I was subjected to comments such as these:

• Are you on your period? Is that why you’re disagreeing with me?

• Does anyone notice anything different about Kat? – this was asked during an all staff meeting, while signalling at my chest. I had taken annual leave and had a breast enlargement. I wished for the earth to swallow me up whole.

• “Can you go and flirt with him please? Take one for the team. Make him feel like he has a shot with you so he signs another sponsorship deal” – this was at an ARIA Awards after party, where we were entertaining our most important clients.

I could go on, but these are the ones that stick with me.

Even typing this out makes my heart race.

Not with anxiety, but with white hot rage.

It’s not until I left I realised just how fucked up it all was.

Why would one of the biggest media companies in Australia protect this behaviour? Why would they allow this to go on?

Because the fucking fish rots at the head.

It saddens me to think this was really only a few years ago.

And this is just my story.

There are countless of other stories from women who have suffered similar, or terrifyingly, worse abuse.

How many of us dampened our shine, stayed small and played dead inside, just to get by?

This is why International Women’s Day is so damn important.

And that’s why every male out there needs to listen up:

Because if you see this happening, and don’t say anything? You’re a part of the problem!

If I could underline that sentence a thousand times I would.

We need to continue the conversation about the vast injustices women are subjected too on a regular basis.

And while it’s certainly improved, it hasn’t improved ENOUGH.

And it begins in everyday interactions.

• The discussions you have with friends and family.

• The chats with within your workplace.

• What you teach your kids.

• How you treat others. Both in person and online.

To be treated equally is not a hard ask.

So, to all the wonderful women in my life, past and present, I salute you and I respect you.

You are doing great things, you are worthy of it ALL, and I am always in your corner.

Happy International Women’s Day rockstars.