How To Say The Sexiest Phrase In Business, Without Being Labelled Rude And Difficult.

Have a drink if you’ve ever felt like your client owns your soul.

That’s what I tasked my Instagram followers with this week, and I’m assuming they all got very drunk, or very hydrated, depending on their fluid of choice.

Today I want to talk about managing people, and in particular, client expectations. 

For a very long time, I wanted to seem ‘accessible’, and ‘easy to work with’. 

I’d take pride in being a ‘yes’ person. 

I would say ‘yes’ and ‘I’ll see what i can do’, knowing that my well-intentioned client was absolutely dreaming, and there was no way in hell that their request was even remotely possible.

Nowadays, I’m very comfortable saying the sexiest phrase in business… which is ‘No, sorry”.

Direct? Yes.

Rude? Nope.

That little phrase is powerful.

And there is power and respect in saying ‘no’ when you it’s the right thing to do.

But the kind natured soul in us struggles to be so direct, am I right?

You’re worried you’re coming off too rude, or difficult, or gosh forbid, coming across like a bitch.

Listen up: Your client isn’t worried about coming across as unreasonable or difficult. They are just focussed on getting what THEY want. Why? Because they are taking care of what THEY need.

And you need to take care of YOUR needs.

Even if it means having a tough, uncomfortable conversation. 

This applies specifically to clients requesting challenging, if not ridiculous, things. I had a client once where the agency I worked at during this time would cater to this clients every desire – even if it was literally impossible to give the client what they wanted.

Having an attitude of ‘must-do-no-matter-what’ for ANY client is a sure fire way to burnout and resentment.

TRUST ME.

Saying things to yourself like “I’ll pick my battles, I’ll just do it, it’ll give the client a win,” is actually detrimental to your client relationship. 

Let me tell you why.

Remember how I said I once worked somewhere where I had to cater to every whim this particular client wanted?

Well, at the time, I would get anxious thinking about the weekly catch ups with this client, knowing that I was going to be requested to pull off a miracle, or sell my soul to the devil (which I’d already done multiple times before thank you very much).

But then something happened. We said ‘yes’ to something that we most definitely should not have yes too… and it cost us the client once it was clear that we couldn’t pull off what they requested.

And it’s these types of scenarios that prove that by saying ‘no’ when required is actually smart business.

That situation taught me how to set boundaries and say no. To both the client AND the employer (I should have never been expected to say ‘yes’ to everything anyway, but THAT is another story).

So, from this client incident, I learned how to set boundaries, and that it was okay to say no. (What? You didn’t think I was this hardened and sassy all my life did you?)

If you break out into a cold sweat even thinking about telling someone ‘no’, then I want you to remember this:  Setting boundaries and client expectations is 100% absolutely necessary. 

Lucky for us, there is a simple trick you can use.

Say things very clearly, and don’t be afraid of the ‘pause’.

The inevitable few seconds where your client will digest what you’re saying which leads to a very brief, awkward pause. 

But that’s OKAY.

You want those few moments.

Because it’s setting a boundary and sending a very clear message.

Don’t give people any wiggle room… as in, don’t leave them any room to negotiate. 

Below is an example of how this exchange might go:

You: “Sorry, I can’t do that project within that deadline.”

PAUSE.

Client: “Okay, so what do you recommend?”

For this particular scenario, if it’s a project that you’re keen to progress with, you can then provide them with a more suitable option that works for you.

Or, if it’s not something that you want to do, you can simply thank them for thinking of you, but politely pass.

Don’t be fake…. be clear, direct and professional. 

Trust me… it’s far better to have an awkward conversation for a minute or two than be stuck in a working relationship that makes you feel resentful and bitter.

Here are some of my go-to phrases when saying no:

• “No, thanks”

• “No, sorry, I’m unable to do that for you”

• “Thanks so much for reaching out, but this isn’t an industry we service right now”

• “No, sorry. Thanks for contacting us, but we are at capacity for the next three months”

• “No, sorry, I am not sharing that information with you as that’s confidential and our intellectual property”

So, remember these baddies. Etch them into your memory.

You’ll notice they aren’t overcomplicated. And that’s because they are meant to be said with conviction. 

So, flipping the script for a second. What are some other scenarios which might require you to say the magic ‘no’ word?

• Your workload. This one hits home for me, because I never gave my creative self the chance to flex until this year. Sure, I’ve started and grown businesses before, but I would then schedule meetings upon meetings, and never give myself the respect to deliver my absolute best creative work. Now, I know I need a handful of hours each day to do my best work. And that’s that. 

• Your mental health. Honour and respect yourself enough that you know when you need a morning or day off to simply ‘be’. 

• Your integrity. A fast path to client resentment is when you let your client push your professional boundaries by requesting ridiculous things in impossible timelines. 

Pushing back to a client can seem tricky. Chances are, you’ve got a great working relationship and you’re scared of making them angry or damaging the relationship by pushing back.

But you need to remember this: you’re the expert in your field. And sometimes, you need to gently remind them of that.

So how do you do that without sounding like a major A-hole?

Here’s what I’ve learned:

Listen to what they are saying and feeling. They are concerned, perhaps nervous, that something isn’t working how they’d like. Acknowledge that, remind them that you’re in their corner, and that they can trust you. 

After all, they hired YOU for a reason. 

For example, “I can tell you're feeling anxious, and this isn’t the most ideal situation. But I want to remind you that you’re in good hands, you hired me for a reason, and I want you to trust that I am doing exactly what you hired me for.”

A little reassurance goes a long way. People (especially of the client variety) can quickly tailspin into panic – questioning and stressing – which has nothing to do with you and your skillset, and everything to do with them.

When you’re an expert, and you’ve been hired for said expertise, doing a good job and making sure your clients feel good about hiring you, isn’t about taking orders and catering to every whim thrown at you.

It’s about giving orders, and calling the shots when necessary.

You give an inch, and some people take a mile.

So it’s better to toss that shit-house metaphor in the bin, and stop giving in.

You owe it your client to deliver the best, most professional service you can – even if that means some tough love.

But most of all? You owe it to yourself.